One should choose a virtuous spouse for marriage. It is mentioned in the Hadith that
“A woman is married for four reasons: her lineage, her beauty, her wealth and her religion.”[1]
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Even if your hands get dirty with dust, marry a woman who is religious and be successful.”
If you want virtuous children, you must choose a virtuous wife. In this regard, there is a story from Hazrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that
Once Hazrat Umar (RA) was roaming the streets when he heard a conversation from a house.
A girl and her mother were talking. He (RA) was tired and was sitting leaning against the wall of a house. The woman was telling her daughter to get up and add some water to the milk. The girl said that Amirul Momineen has forbidden mixing water with milk. The mother said, “Which Amirul Momineen is here? Get up and add water.” The girl said, “Amirul Momineen is not watching, but Amirul Momineen’s God is watching.” Hazrat Umar (RA) was listening to this conversation. As soon as morning came, he said to his wife, “Go to so-and-so’s house and see if his daughter is married or a virgin.” It turned out that she was a widow. The Prophet (peace be upon him) married her to his son Hazrat Asim without any hesitation. From this girl’s children was born the fifth Caliph, Rashid Umar bin Abdul Aziz. He is called the fifth Caliph because he made so many reforms during his two and a half year reign that the vision of the Rashidun Caliphate began to be seen again, although many defects had arisen before him. [1] Al-Lulu Wal-Marjan: 928
The incident shows that the good fortune of children depends to a great extent on the piety, character, and habits of the parents. Among the parents, the mother’s intelligence, habits, and morals have a greater impact on the children than the father’s. Keeping this in mind, Islam has given importance to the religiousness of the woman at the time of marriage. [1]
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Choosing a woman who loves and bears many children
Hazrat Ma’qil bin Yasar (may Allah be pleased with him) says that a companion asked about a woman: “She is very beautiful and of good lineage, but she cannot bear children, so should I marry her?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No!” The second time that person came, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stopped him. The third time that person came, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stopped him for the third time and then said: Marry women who are very loving and who bear many children. Because on the Day of Judgment, I will be proud of other nations (because of your abundance).
Therefore, it is not right to marry and remain childless. It is a different situation to be married and not have children, but if it is known in advance that the woman is barren, as in Arabia, women were married and then divorced. And this woman did not have children from her first husband, it would be known that this woman would not bear children. Regarding such a woman, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not give permission even after asking three times because children are a natural need of man.
The first meeting on the wedding night
When a man is married and it is the first night and he places his hand on his wife’s forehead and supplicates to Allah Almighty
((O Allah, I ask You for the best of her and the best of what she brought, and I seek refuge in You from
[1] Tabaqat Ibn Sa’d: 330/5.
